Just a Waitress

I have blogged on and off for some years. It is cathartic and it brings me some clarity and joy. So, I’m going to give it another whirl and see what happens. Full disclosure…I bought this domain and site almost 2 months ago and I have written and re-written the launch post a dozen times because I wanted it to be perfect. First of all, nothing is ever perfect. But, second of all (and more importantly) I realize that it was a tactic to not move forward and sit in my fear of judgement…or…no one reading it at all. So, today I made the decision to not hold this as something too precious and just let it fly.

I am a waitress. I have been a waitress for 29 years and until recently I have always been a bit ashamed of it. I have wanted to justify this vocational choice by making sure that people knew that this is not all that I do. Because, in this culture what we do defines who you are as a human. It speaks to your value and purpose. If you are “just” a waitress you are a loser who is incapable of doing anything else with your life. You are stupid and broke and miserable. I take you to the commercial for, American Career College, where a young woman is seen looking at her report card where she is failing her classes. We then see her at her waitressing job (it is a deluge outside) and she has spilled something on a customer and she cries while he yells at her. She is then at the bus stop (still pouring rain) and a bus rolls by with the advertisement for the college on the side. She smiles and we next see her in class (beaming with joy). The sun is shining, birds are singing and she is in a hospital helping children. She is no longer a miserable creature living out her life in the movie, Seven. Think about that…that is the opinion in our American culture of what it means to be a waitress. Imagine carrying that inherent shame every day of your life and feeling the need to prove that you are not a loser in life. I carried it with me for many years and it took the pandemic to make me unpack some of the stigma and change my own heart and mind about what it means to be a waitress.

So, what does it mean to be a waitress? It means that I get to be social every night. It means that I get exercise while I’m working. It means that my brain is sharp because I have to hold dozens of things in my head and prioritize all of the tasks I need to accomplish. It means that I have to manage expectations and emotions of everyone around me at all times. It means that I make a really good living for a fraction of the hours others have to work. And, maybe most importantly, it means that I get to be a big part of helping to make memories for my guests. Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, holidays, retirements, first dates, first jobs, and even mourning the loss of loved ones. I am there for them all. It is an honor to be trusted with these sacred moments in my guests’ lives.

I am reminded of a quote from Good Will Hunting. (There will be many movie and tv quotes, brace yourself). Robin Williams says that he made this choice (to be a teacher and counselor without a flashy career) and that he didn’t fuck it up. That sums it up for me. I made this choice to be a waitress…I didn’t fuck it up.

And so today I will enjoy the sunshine, the yoga, my kitten and later in the evening I will be taking in a movie with a friend. Life is good. Choose Happy.